Remembering Sarah
by KatieBaby86
Summary: Harm goes back to active flight status, but its not all he thought it would be...


DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I'm just borrowing the characters, etc from JAG. I have also borrowed a couple of lines from Gilmore Girls.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Set around the end on the fourth season. It's dodgy, but it was fun to write again! Feedback greatly appreciated!

**Remembering Sarah**

Harm sat on his bunk on the USS Patrick Henry, staring. He couldn't focus. The CAG had spoken to him, told him to sort out whatever's bothering him, or go back stateside. He knew that he shouldn't be letting it affect him this badly, but it was. Skates had given him a good dressing down after he attempted to land them in the water… again! He couldn't keep putting other people at risk just because he had deep, soulful, brown eyes swirling around in his head. No. It needed to stop. Now! And yet he remained seated, saring at those eyes. Finally he decided enough was enough and safely stowed the photo back into his log-book (real sailors didn't keep 'diaries') and returned it to his lockbox. He turned on his computer and stared at his reflection in the screen. He felt that he had aged immensely in the month since he'd returned to active flight status, and it wasn't just because of the lack of sleep. Something was bothering him, something was missing. He clicked onto his email and smiled for the first time in days.

From: s..gov

To: .gov

Subject: none

Hello Sailor!

Hope you've been staying out of the drink! Your (temporary) replacement arrived today and has no idea. We need you back here! We're all picking up the slack, trying to teach this dim-witted squid how to find the head without getting lost (or his head flushed down it) and maintain professionalism. If things don't change soon, the Admiral is going to have the whole department up on conduct unbecoming charges! But this isn't supposed to be a long winded email making your ego even bigger than it already is (if that's even possible). I wish I could send you more photos, but I know what the Navy internet servers are like. The one pic I have chosen to send you this week is of the painting little AJ did for his Uncle Harm. He misses you, Flyboy (and he's not the only one).  
I'd better be getting back to work. Bud, Harriet, little AJ and the Admiral all say hi.  
Stay safe Flyboy. Come home soon!  
Ninja Girl

This was going to be a long cruise if she kept emailing him every week, reminding him of what he was missing out on. Slowly the image began to download and Harm grinned. Mac had written a little note in the top corner explaining the squiggly lines. "This is me and little AJ on a carrier. The plane is being flown by you. Miss you Sailor."

A week later, Harm was sat in the mess hall only half listening to the conversations around him. Skates looked on concerned. She had noticed the patterns in his behaviour. Every Thursday he was distracted and grumpy as all hell. Something miraculous happens on Thursday night and he turns into Mary Poppins by Friday morning roll call. She'd long suspected that it had something to do with the elusive Sarah she often hears Harm whispering about. She smiled softly as Harm excused himself early – like he always did on Thursday nights.

Friday morning roll call saw Harm stomping into the room and glaring at anyone and everyone. Skates sighed. Whatever normally happens Thursday nights didn't happen last night.

"Skates, lets go!" Harm's abrupt nature surprised her.

"Harm! Harm, calm down! We've got hours til we're due in the air."

Harm continued to stalk up onto the flight deck and begin his pre-flight checks.

"Harm! Stop!"

"We've got to get this done Skates."

"No. Harm, it can wait 5 minutes. Stop! We need to talk."

"You've got questions about the mission?"

"You're not going on a mission unless you talk to me about what's bothering you."

Harm sighed. "I don't need to talk about anything. Nothing's wrong."

"Don't get all macho on me Harmon Rabb Jr! Do you want me to call back to JAG in Washington and talk to your old partner?"

"No!"

"Then tell me what's wrong."

Harm sighed and sat down heavily against the wall of hanger. "I miss her so much."

"Who Hammer?"

"Sarah."

"Hammer!" the CAG called across the hanger. "You good to go? We need to change the launch order."

"Sure thing CAG."

"This conversation's not over Harm," Skates whispered as she passed him.

"Colonel Mackenzie and Lieutenant Roberts reporting as ordered, Sir."

"At ease Colonel, Lieutenant. I believe that Admiral Chegwidden briefed you before you left?"

"Yes Sir. He told us that there have been a number of small incidents have been occurring in the squadron, stemming from the lack of focus of one of the officers. If I may ask Sir, where is the UCMJ breech?"

"There have been a number of minor incidents which endanger the lives of my other crew members. We need to sort this out."

"Certainly Sir. Have you tried counselling, discussions with other crew members?"

"I believe his RIO has tried. Skates is getting concerned and is beginning to feel uncomfortable flying with him."

"Skates? The pilot's not Harmon Rabb is it?"

"Yes Colonel. He's becoming a pain in the six to have on this cruise."

"We'll have a chat to some of the pilots and see if they can shed some light onto the situation. If that doesn't work, we'll go to the source."

"Thank you Colonel. The Gunny will show you to your quarters."

"Aye aye Sir!"

"Skates?"

"Yep?"

"Colonel Mackenzie. I was wondering if I could have a chat to you about your partner?"

"Commander Rabb? Sure. He'll be sulking in his bunk so let's head down to the mess, if that's alright Ma'am?"

"Sounds perfect."

"Permission to speak freely Ma'am?"

"Go ahead Skates."

"Ma'am, is your name Sarah?"

"Yes."

"Ma'am, Hammer keeps muttering your name as he walks the ship, while he checks the planes, while he's flying."

"Why do I get the feeling that I was set up here?"

"Ma'am, I spoke to the Captain. The JAG is a good friend of his and he sought to find the cause of the issue. I believe that that was why you were sent Ma'am."

"I guess I'd better go and find him. Can you point me in the direction of his quarters?"

"Sure. Follow me."

"Hi Sailor. What've you got there?" Harm looked up, stunned. His fantasy world was getting too real for his liking. Mac turned back to Skates. "Has he been this spaced out the whole tour?"

"Not always. Friday's he's bouncing off the walls, except yesterday."

"I got stuck in court."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Thank you Skates, but I think I need to talk to Harm alone."

"You're really here Sarah?" Harm asked, realisation dawning.

"Yeah Flyboy, I am."

"I'll leave you to it, Ma'am, Sir." Skates quietly removed herself, not before noticing Harm launch himself at the Colonel.

"God I've missed you!"

"I email you every week Flyboy."

"It's not enough for me Sarah."

"Don't. Not here." Mac led him back to his bunk where they sat, Harm's arms pulling her tightly against him. "So what's this I hear about you being a pain in the Captain's six?"

The following afternoon Mac returned to the bridge to report to the Captain. She knew he'd set her up, but was past caring. She had spent the night curled up in Harm's arms, talking quietly, catching up. Harm had made a decision.

"Captain?"

"How'd it go Colonel?"

Mac handed him a file before continuing the conversation, "He's decided that focusing on a mission with no chance to connect with the people he cares about is dangerous to his crew and himself and requests a transfer back to JAG Headquarters. I've discussed it with Admiral Chegwidden this morning and he's agreed to take Harm back, on the proviso that he keeps up his quals every 12 months. This would mean that Harm can keep his wings, but not fly active missions. And I want to thank you Sir."

"What for Colonel? I asked you here to do a job and you've done that."

"I believe that you requested me. I'm grateful for that Sir."

"Just invite me to the wedding and we'll be even. Will Hammer be ready to be on the evening COD back to Washington?"

"I think he could manage that Sir."

"He's relieved of his duties here, so go and get your Sailor packed up and ready to move out."

"Aye aye Sir!"

"Flyboy! Get your stuff together and be on the flight deck in 34 minutes and 29 seconds."

"You like giving the orders Marine?"

"Only to you Sailor!"

"Funny Ninja Girl. You going to help me pack?"

"Sure. We've only got another 32 minutes and 17 seconds."

"Are you going to tell me how you do that?"

"Not in this lifetime Stick Boy."

Mac smiled as she watched Harm on the flight back stateside. He was beginning to relax. She could see the tension leaving him as his fingers played with hers. He caught her looking at him and smiled. She was glad to have him back and, although they needed to talk, was looking forward to the idea of having him as a more permanent fixture in her life. He lent down slightly and whispered, "I missed you." Her smile widened at his words and she gently rested her head on his shoulder as his fingers wound more forcefully through hers.

Bud sat beside Harm and wondered why on earth they were even sent out there. He'd spend the past two days stuck in the JAG office, checking and double checking all of the on board JAG's paperwork. It had not been a fun job, and surely it was one that one of the ship's senior officers could have done – it didn't take a genius. But the trip had a good point – they were bringing the Commander home again. Bud was looking forward to not having to put up with a grumpy Marine around the office anymore. He knew Mac had missed her best friend and would be grateful to have them back.

Mac was sat at her desk on Monday morning as Harm made his grand entrance into the bullpen. He marched proudly through the office, smiling smugly at all those who welcomed him back. He reached his office door and Mac heard Harriet call out to him.

"Ah Commander?" then silence.

"What are you doing in my office?" Harm's voice pierced the silence.

"This is my office Sir, so if you'll kindly leave." Mac was up out of her seat and restraining Harm before he'd even realised what was happening.

"Come on Sailor. He's not worth it. Let's go back to my office so you can calm down before your meeting with the Admiral." Harm struggled against her hold and Bud came to help her lead him back to her office.

"You alright now Ma'am?" Bud asked once they'd safely deposited Harm in the guest chair in her office.  
"Thank you Bud. Close the door on your way out please." As the door clicked closed, Mac knelt down in front of Harm to look directly into his eyes. "Flyboy?"

"Why did I think that I could come back and everything would be the same?"

"Things won't be the same. You left us, Harm, and it's going to take a while to get that trust back. But if you give them time to realise that you're not going to run off on them again, they'll realise that by inviting you in, our little family can be even better and stronger."

"Oh God, Mac. I don't know what to do anymore. I need to return to normal."

"And you will Flyboy. We need you, I need you."

"I need you too."

"Now, we need to do something about that arrogant prick in your office. Can I come in with you to talk to the Admiral?"

"I don't have a problem with it. The Admiral might though."

"I'll square it with Tiner before we go in. You need to stay here, with us, with me." A knock on the door caused Mac to stand suddenly, her hand remained clasped in his. Tiner's head appeared around the door.

"Sorry Ma'am, I didn't know if anyone was in here. The Admiral's ready to speak to Commander Rabb now."

"Thank you Tiner. Can you let the Admiral know that, if he doesn't mind, I'd like to be present too?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Thank you. We'll be there in a couple of minutes."

"Aye Ma'am." As the door closed again, Mac gently pulled Harm to his feet and squeezed his hand.

"Ready to face the music, Flyboy?"

"As ready as I'm ever going to be. Thank you." Harm pulled her close and gently kissed the top of her head.

"We've got an Admiral to talk to, as much as I'd like to stay like this all day."

"Really?" Harm smiled as he released her. "Maybe this is a conversation we should continue another time Marine?"

"Maybe it is. We have to talk to the Admiral now or he'll kick both our sixes back to the Patrick Henry."

"Yes Ma'am!"

Harm sat on Mac's couch with his arms wrapped tightly around her. The nightmare of the last month was over. She was back in his life.

"Are we going to talk about your sudden need to use me as your lifeboat or just accept it?" Mac asked, looking up at him. Harm sighed, but smiled.

"I'm quite happy to sit here, with you, but I suppose that we should talk. I don't want to ever have to leave you again Sarah."

"Why not Harm?"

"Because… because you're the air I breathe. I love you more than life itself, more than flying."

"Wow! Big emission! More than flying?"

"You'd better believe it Marine!" Harm laughed as he pulled her in closer.

"Well it's lucky that I need you too isn't it?"

"Very."

Bud, Harriet, Harm and Mac sat at the park, watching their tough-as-nails Admiral on the play equipment with little AJ. Harm's hand slowly ran circles across the small of Mac's back. Harriet and Bud were busy setting up birthday cake and food for lunch.

"Four years, Marine," Harm laughed.

"Oh, I think that deal is null and void, Stickboy!"

"And why's that?"

"What are you two talking about?" Harriet asked. Mac laughed.

"Harm and I made a deal the day that AJ was born – if on his fifth birthday we were both single and without children, we'd go halves on a kid."

"So why would that be void? AJ's only just turned one today."

"Well, I'm beginning a relationship with a man who, if I'm honest, has had my heart since I met him over three years ago. I don't think I'll need to wait the last four years to have a baby." Harm's hand had stilled on her back. They hadn't really spoken about having a family. Even this relationship needed to be ironed out before it could be declared a serious relationship.

"Are you telling me you're pregnant Mac?" Harriet asked.

"No," Mac laughed. "I don't intend to be for a while yet, but probably before the five years would be good." Harm began tapping Morse Code into her back gently. Mac's smile widened.

Harm's message read, 'when can we start practicing I like the idea of little us in two years'.

Mac and Harriet's conversation continued.

"So who's your mystery man, if I can ask?"

"Unfortunately that information is privileged right now, but I hope to be able to introduce him to the future God-parents of our child soon enough."

"Why do I get the feeling that this relationship shouldn't be happening?"

"Not that, just not prepared to tell the world yet. Actually, I am, he isn't."

"Come on, Mac. If I was lucky enough to have you, I'd be standing on top of JAG ops on Monday morning shouting out that I got the most amazing Marine in the Corps, and have a sign for those who couldn't hear it," Harm said, moving just slightly away from HIS Marine.

"If I see any man on the roof of JAG Ops on Monday morning, I'll shoot first, ask questions later!" Mac and Harriet laughed.

Mac woke late on Monday morning. Her internal clock had been out of wack for about the last week – ever since Harm came home. She raced through her morning routine and ran out the door, toast clamped in her teeth. She ate as she drove towards HQ, wondering what the military world had in store for her this week. As she neared HQ she noticed a number of people gathered on the lawn outside the building. Dismissing it as a fire drill or something similar, she continued into the car park. It wasn't until she left her car that she heard it.

"I am the luckiest man alive!" Mac looked above her and noticed Harm standing on the roof holding a banner with "I want to marry my Marine" emblazoned across the front of it. Mac almost died of shock and embarrassment. Harriet ran towards her.

"Ma'am. We can't get him down. The Admiral's tried talking to him, but it didn't do any good."

"What charges is he on right now?"

"None at the moment, but the Admiral wants the rest of us to get back to work and we can't do that until we know he's not a danger to us or himself."

"He's not a danger. He's just a stupid show off."

"Would you try Colonel?" Harriet asked. Mac handed her her briefcase and headed closer to the building.

"Commander! What did I say I'd do if I saw someone on the roof of Ops?"

"You wouldn't shoot me, Sarah. You love me."

"True, but right now you're testing my restraint. Get down from there before I send up a unit of Seals, or better yet, Marines to get you down." Silence surrounded them. Mac thought back over what she'd said.

"You love me Marine?" Harm asked, as softly as he could, trying to talk to her from the top of the building.

"If you come down Flyboy we'll talk about it. Just don't try to fly down." Harm disappeared from view and people began moving around to see if they could see where he'd gone. In under a minute he emerged from the front of Ops.

"I love you, Sarah."

"I love you too Harm, but this isn't the time or the place to be having this conversation," Mac said, barely above a whisper. He leant in towards her. "What are you doing?"

"Would you stand still?" Slowly, he lent in and kissed her passionately. As the fog cleared from her mind, she became aware of their CO standing nearby, watching them.

"Ah, Sir," Mac said, straightening up. "Very unprofessional I know. Won't happen again, Sir."

"Don't lie to me Colonel. It will happen again. Nothing could have kept the two of you apart for long. Just don't make it the entertainment for the entire Navy again."

"Aye Sir," they couple said in unison, standing to attention.

"Back to work people!" AJ called as he began shepherding his team inside. "Ah, not you Commander, Colonel. I believe that you have some things to discuss."

"Thanks Sir," Harm smiled, saluting his CO. Harriet handed Mac back her briefcase and heading for the building.

"Oh, and Harm?"

"Yes Sir?"

"Make sure you get her home before you mark your territory like that again." Mac's appalled face made both the Admiral and Harm laugh.

"Aye aye Sir!" AJ heading back into the office as Harm and Mac continued to his car.

"God help me!" AJ muttered under his breath.


End file.
